Is your bedroom like a bomb site? Do you fight your way through mountains of clothes, piles of books, and bits of paper scattered about like the set of a Dystopian movie?
Perhaps your teenager’s study space is like this and you’re quietly despairing?
Perhaps you’ve long stopped spotting the carpet, or it feels like a health hazard the moment you step inside?
Though it seems like new life forms may well be growing inside your teenager’s room, we suspect that it just needs a bit of organising to get ship-shape and ready for study!
Rather than risk a power struggle with your child hanging onto their mess for dear life, here are some helpful starting points.
Three tips to improve a study space
- Stay calm and negotiate
Shouting and screaming doesn’t work – however irate you feel. It might be that your youngster wants to improve their space, but isn’t sure how?
This is where it helps to have a short list of ‘room improvement’ ideas at the ready.
Perhaps some new shelves, boxes, coloured folders and stationery sets might be a first suggestion?
Ask them what – realistically – would make a difference to them? Their design ideas? Explain how a tidier room can help them keep on top of homework, revision and exams.
If clothes litter the floor, suggest there are some cool laundry bins nowadays. And that it would help you to keep on top of the family laundry if they did their bit too.
Explain that you don’t want to encroach on their private space, but help them max it out. The calm approach might still be met with resistance, but stick with it.
- Focus on one space at a time
This step-by-step approach can help to mollify an anxious teen who feels territorial about their room.
Calmly mention whether the desk area, bed area or cleanliness would be good starting points. Ask them: what is driving you potty about your room right now?
Maybe they get frustrated as they can’t find something, or are late getting off to school?
Pick your battles. Don’t head into full-scale war from the off. It sounds odd, but talk to them like they are an adult – not a teenager.
You’d be surprised what a difference that can make…
- Push the benefits
Rather than focus on negatives (you’re so messy etc) push the benefits: a clutter-free study space means less hassle with school, better results as it’s easier to study, more perks for them!
That said, some parents use sanctions if rooms aren’t kept clean by removing internet access or iPad use, for example. Privileges are returned once the the room is sorted.
It works for some. Learning compliance can help teenagers learn more about what the world is like once they leave home one day.
But, be prepared for backlash. Teenagers like to feel they are treated fairly and justly.
At the end of the day, parents do have to set limits. Just stay calm if you impose them.
Remind them that you are not trying to take away their individuality – at all.
That’s why it matters to remind them of their strengths and successes – not just their faults.
Still struggling with school?
We’re always amazed year in year out here at 121 Home Tutors at what a positive influence a personal tutor can have on their tutees.
It’s incredible how a tutor suggesting organisation tips can have such a positive impact, compared to a parent saying it.
Call us if you’re at your wits end, or you just want to get your teenager off to a positive start again.
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image courtesy of Impressive Interior Design dot com
Tags: individuality, organising a study room, sanctions, study space, tidying up