Has your child or teen failed this term? It’s an interesting question depending on how you measure success.
If you see success as being top of the class, getting near perfect test scores every time, or succeeding in every subject, you will almost certainly be disappointed.
That’s not to say that our children cannot achieve excellence. They can … without a doubt.
But it can be hard to maintain all of the time. Therefore, a better way of looking at it is: success can be gained in incremental steps. Except … there’s the elephant in the room to face.
The elephant in the room
Failure. It needn’t be the elephant in the room, of course. There’s no shame in it, although none of us can deny how painful failure can feel. We’ve all been there at various stages of life, right?
In fact, failure of every description happens each day. From failing equipment to forgetting to get milk from the corner shop. While these everyday disappointments can be easily rectified, what of failures at school?
Schools today are high-pressure environments. Even in primary school, children are put into sets based on their success or failure to grasp a subject. Children can be promoted or demoted to another table or class.
Sadly, many children feel as if they don’t measure up. They feel embarrassed if their end of report comes home with ‘isn’t working at expected performance.’ Labels stick.
And worse – ending term or the year on a low can carry forward into the next school year. ‘Something to avoid at all costs ‘ say our team of top tutors.
How to turn failure into success?
- Teach that success comes from failure. Remember falling off your bike when learning to ride? It was only by getting back on the saddle that you learned to overcome that initial wobble. Failure is temporary.
- Focus on the how and why. How did you go wrong and why can lead to some enlightening insight into how success happens. Once a child or teen understands where they went wrong and how to rectify, they can make progress.
- Shift your thinking. If you pin all hopes on success as the final entity and don’t value effort or hard work, you end up having an unhealthy relationship with failure. Instead, by praising effort, it helps you to see that failure is part of the learning process. And that what matters is to carry on, not give up.
Still struggling?
The hardest thing is trying to do it alone. Now you don’t have to…
Whether your child is facing a new school year, 11+ entrance exams, or GCSE or A Levels soon and keeps falling down, let us build up their skills and confidence. We’d love to help…
*Picture courtesy of medium dot com
Tags: 11+ exams, Confidence, exams, GCSE exams, report, shame, tests