When your child comes home devastated if they’ve done badly in a test, didn’t secure the ‘expected’ levels or has bombed in an end of term mock exam, the first reaction is often to panic.
If you find it bewildering how to help your child overcome disappointment, you’d not be alone. Some children don’t just ‘brush off’ a feeling of failure – and focus instead on the fail not the gain.
Praise, however, is something which can break down that wall of shame. And, over time, it can truly change your child’s thinking. Let’s look at one way you can help you child out of a dark hole:
Give specific praise
When I was a child, my teachers would often write ‘Good’ in exercise books, or ‘This is worrying’ without further comment. I was left wondering what was actually good, and – worse – the generic negative comments made me feel such a failure.
What would have helped? If you give your child specific feedback about an aspect of their work or attitude, they’ll feel as if they are still heading towards their goals.
Saying ‘You came up with some fantastic ideas there. Well done! Now let’s try to work on…’ you can praise something specific and build challenge into it.
Once they appreciate the mini achievements along the way, you’ll find them develop a more resilient mindset to disappointment. Mindfulness is something none of us should take lightly.
When to call in a private tutor?
Sometimes, children tumble backwards and end up in a stressed heap. You’ll spot there’s a problem when your child talks more negatively about school or him/herself.
With everyone busy and you having all the kids to manage, it can be hard to set aside time to go through your child’s schoolwork in depth. Plus, as many parents find, you might even feel a little out of your depth too…
Instead, a one to one tutor – who’s experienced at helping kids out of a jam – will help to turn things round so that your child can keep things in perspective.
Working with a private tutor also means they can cover tricky subjects in a safe space without other kids winding them up for being last in the class.
Get in touch with Alison and the 121 Home Tutors team today. With a terrific team of tutors across Manchester and Cheshire, we can help.
Tags: homework support, mock exam disappointment, praise, stressed child